Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SCREAM*

Okay... Sooooo... I've had knee problems for like.. ever... and I went to COS sport med and got checked out and they gave me stretches to do because the muscles down the side of my knee where really tight and causing TONS of pain....

Monday... probably 2 or 3 weeks after the fact... back up... SUNDAY my knee had terrible pain.... but I didn't seem to do anything significant to it at Saturdays game... so MONDAY I went to sports med... "L" examined me... again... and decided that there was something wrong... and she was BENCHING ME!!!!!! NO freaking way! I was like, can't you just tape it and I can go? and she said it was beyond taping... so... I "jumped thorough the hoops" and they have me scheduled to see an Ortho 10/26... Augh... TOO far away...

My whole deal... if I am going to take 3 weeks off of cheer... NO dancing and NO stunting there best be a damn good reason.... and there's really not... we *think* it NOT good enuogh for me... I mean, if I take 3 weeks off and there is NO problem, (which is what is going to happen), then I've wasted 3 weeks, and hurt myself and the team by not practicing.... if it IS something (which it won't be) then what is 3 weeks of going along like I have been? It's couldn't get THAT much worse....

I've literally made myself sick over this... eating is just a chore...sleeping is work... and going to practice is just plain depressing... I see my team getting irritated with each other and snapping at each other and I just want to scream at them, "Shut up and do it! Be happy you CAN!" I honestly did not realize how much I liked cheer, (despite the, sometimes, bad mood with in the team)... and now I am beside myself... What to do? I've exausted myself by trying to think of arguements that I could use to backpedal out of this situation.... but the trainer does not care... She's VERY nice, and I really like her... but I can't help but be a little upset with her because of this... Sorry "L".... nothing truly aganist you...

So, instead of going straight to practice, (which I can do anyway), I go to sports medicine and they put a "game ready" on my knee... this it like... like this:

http://gameready.com/products/images/HeroKnee_no%20tat.jpg

Basically it blows up, (like a blood pressure cuff), and then circulates REALLY REALLY REALLY cold water through.....

It hurts, actually... but after 20mins... my knee is numb and since I can't feel it I don't know it hurts. Though once the numbness wears off it hurts more.... win some yah lose some I suppose...

Then, I get to go and sit and watch my team practice... depressing...

I'm just so frustrated with all of this... I run myself in circles talking about it...

Though... what has come out of all this... and don't tell my mom! Is that... I like the idea of being an Athletic Trainer and Crushing the dreams of young athletes by benching them.... I mean... and working with athletes to help them get back on their feet so they can play again.... I love it... just being in the training room... once I get past the depressing fact that I'm there because I'm benched... is kinda inspiring...

So, I am going to take some AT courses... who knows? Plus they make REALLY good money... much better than teachers... which I will still pursue...

Anyway... homecoming week THIS WEEK, is ruined... our homecoming game is THIS SATURDAY at the MK bowl in Visalia, 7pm... this will be interesting... COS vs. Reedley... Go Giants!


Okay... gotta go to school... I've got a Linguistics test in 30mins... fun! *Insert REALLY sarcastic look and eye roll here*

So, it's been quite a while... not that I see anyone complaining!

Things have been busy, between working 2 jobs, school and cheerleading there is almost no time left for ME time!

It's SOOO nice to have a 2nd job and a 2nd paycheck! And lucky for me, this job does not really feel like WORK... the girls I work with a great so it just makes things that much more fun.

School... it's the usual, I suppose? I have come to find that I truly HATE linguistics... or maybe it's just how it's being taught... either way... I am NOT a fan...

Cheerleading is... well... only getting worse... there is one guy I REALLY DO NOT get along with... we both know it... and it's so uncomfortable... the only thing worse than getting dirty looks and bad attitude and having some talk shit behind your back, is having them actually doing it to your face... for the most part... because this person won't really say much in front of me... it's like this mumbling that I can kinda make out... but not well enough to say something... bummer... I'd SO love to say something... yet if I ever DID... his cheer girls would really hate me too... and I don't want any else to be like him towards me.... it sucks... and it's annoying... and it makes things REALLY difficult and uncomfortable.... SO basically.. if I confront him it's gets worse FAST... and if I don't confront him is slowly gets worse... so.. damned if yah do and damned if yah don't!!!!

I thought about quitting... but my mom brought up a good point... if I quit... it's just letting him win... and he knows it... and I am not going to give up that easily... Maybe next time!

Well... I guess I better go to class.... though, I'd much rather stay here!!!

G'd day all!!!


Ash